Vita luna - crazy life

So I haven’t updated as frequently as I was before but frankly this blog was born out of the boredom my unexpected holidays due to swine flu had inflicted upon me which I have since been cured of after returning to school life.

As an alternative excuse, I also seem to be procrastinating everything nowadays. It’s become a bad habit so to speak, not that I’m the only one; I’ve managed to influence several others. Ah yes, we procrastinators will unite... Tomorrow.

Though I am not a singer and I cannot play any instruments (granted I did take piano lessons four years ago but I can hardly recollect any of what I learned now), nor do I know of any people who really have such qualifications I think I might start up a band, perhaps I shall call it “Persephone’s descent” or “the Falling Toaster”. It may possibly involve a tuba or harpsichord. It will do well.

An idle thought – I have many of them.

I’ve been bombarded with phone calls requesting my advice (mainly because they have no one else to turn to); of course I try my best to help them out like the wonderful person I am although I can never resist throwing in the odd sarcastic comment or two.

My writers block – did I mention that previously? – has been deemed currently incurable and I’m absolutely dying because of it but I just can’t seem to focus and everything I force myself to scribble down is a bunch of ideas mashed together with absolutely no flow whatsoever. Days just seem to merge into one and everything feels like a ticking time bomb.

Whoops, sorry, bad analogy.

My brother’s birthday is looming on the horizon as is his party, I’m involved with a series of incredibly tangled love lives, and we had a bunch of surprise tests this week so basically my life is same-o same-o.

These are ridiculously awesome.

- Ta-ta for now!

De omnibus dubitandum - everything should be questioned.

Since the creation of AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Unichat, etc., or whichever one of these wonderfully programmed means of communication via the Internet (which was then followed by the remaining programs mentioned, which somehow attracted users despite being identical to every other Messenger Service, simply with added features -- ooh, little poppy-uppy thingies that tell you when a friend signs on! Not that you couldn't hear the ear-pleasing door-creaking sound and not that you weren't perfectly capable of looking at the buddy list! Oh no, thank heavens the creators installed that brilliant feature -- but that is another story), a single entity -- no, I shall not acknowledge that being as human, for it has brought unspeakable doom upon us all -- has seemingly lost all traces of logic whatsoever, setting the trend for millions to come.

Oh, I cannot bear to name the horror this entity has maniacally created. It must be looking up at us right now, cackling with sinister delight.

Where does it live? What's that you say? Hell? What is this Hell you speak of?

That, my dearest friend, is a very poor joke indeed. For this bane lives on. It lives, thriving, in the forms of its followers. It is dangerous, yes indeed. It eats the pie from your windowsill, it steals the lead from your pencils, it steals babies in the night and devours them, it puts jell-o in your drinking water, etc. It is at fault for every occurrence imaginable. It will never die until the ignorance of mankind is banished from existence (ie, never).

The truth of the matter is, it lives in a much more dangerous, wicked place than mere Hell.

This fiendish, mortifying, indescribable terror is simply pure ignorance.
And it comes in the form of (in increasing order of scariness):
Pink font, excessive emoticons, "AIM Lingo", the question "sup" and all other forms of it, "337", misspellings of a word designed to look "kyoot", and sticky caps.

I may have missed several other evils of the online world. Sue me.

These terrifying forms of pure, malignant evil were born in the midst of the war for the world of Messenger.

Once, long ago, an AOL mastermind declared, "Let us make beautiful new options of colours for the people of AOL Instant Messenger," because, of course, the kindly and thoughtful rulers of the land of AOL wished to have more and more users, and eventually take over the world. And thus, annoying little girls with pink font over pink highlights that no one could possibly read were born. These cunning witches of pink have forsaken the normal colour spectrum. No, no, they were too beautiful, too perfect, too high and mighty for something as lowly as black, or blue, or even orange. These girls have set out on a quest to burn the retinas of everyone they converse with, with blinding electric pink fonts set on hot pink backgrounds, which they assure are entirely different shades of pink. Yet all who encounter them are instantly incapacitated by the shuddering beastly colour. No -- there was a time when pink was normal, when it was beautiful. But it was not to be. The little girls of pink font had ravaged the good name of pink forever.

Soon after the wonderful creation of colourful fonts, a tactician of MSN gasped, "Oh no, this won't do at all, however are we going to compete with those beautiful colours?" He thought, and thought and thought some more, because obviously the rulers of MSN were incapable of thinking, when the tactician declared, "Let us make beautiful, touching icons of emotions for the people of MSN Messenger," which were then rightfully dubbed "emoticons" by the Queen of MSN. And so the people rejoiced, conversing only with yellow, disproportional faces. Whole conversations would consist of only: ":-'( :-( :-/ :- :-\ :-) :-D." Yes, it was a grand idea indeed, to display emotions for those illiterate ones who could not adequately do so in words. And so, the Smiley People were born, never typing a word in their lives. Perhaps this grand idea once might have been considered good and holy, but alas, the goodness of emoticons has been long worn out by the Smiley People.

Unfortunately for the Queen of MSN Messenger and her people, AOL won the people of Messenger, and ruled Messenger for all eternity (even though we all know that MSN AIM). No one knows why, exactly. Urine-colour smiley faces were much more in favour by the people than forty-eight colours (half of them ugly, at that), but perhaps the fact was that MSN had foolishly forgotten the "Instant" that AOL slyly slipped into their name, thereby making the people believe MSN was not really an Instant Messenger and was actually an email service -- which it is, but the people got mighty confused by all that. All the other lands of Messenger were crap, and didn't really deserve to be mentioned anyways.

Now that AOL had won the battle over Messenger and enslaved all its people, the rulers had no further motivation to create new features that actually interested the people. In this way, the peoples' hands were forced, and they had to create features of their own.

Sadly, the people were equally as lacking in the creativity department as both AOL and MSN, and began to degenerate language itself in the form of "AIM Lingo" to satisfy their creating urges. "AIM Lingo" began to replace proper language, dragging English into the dregs of oblivion. It had a humble beginning with innocent abbreviations that aided all of Messenger -- handy little acronyms like "brb" or "g2g". All the people of Messenger loved those two acronyms and their creators (although those creators' names are forgotten in this day and age), and soon began to greedily desire the fame and fortune that came with inventing acronyms and shortcuts. The first few were successful, such as "lol" and "ttyl." Yet all of these inventions seemed to have made language difficult to understand at all, bringing into existence not-quite-sentences such as these: "i h8 skool u no?" Of course, not-quite-sentences such as these began to bring confusion upon the heads of many in the fair land of AOL Instant Messenger. Could "u no" mean you know, or could it possibly mean you don't? No one shall ever know. These not-quite-sentences began to usurp the roles of intelligent sentences, and from there, the language of AIM spiralled faster into its own downfall.

An old fashioned "Hello" as a greeting slowly descended into a usefully shorter version, "Hey," and from there into an even shorter version, "Hi." Another commonly used phrase, "What is happening?" shortened to "What is up?", a much cooler form. This then changed into "What's up?", a MUCH cooler form of "What is up?" and also conveniently shorter by one letter/symbol, which then branched off into variances of coolness: "Sup?", "Wazzup?", "Watsup?", "Wats^?", "Wassup?", and so on. Somehow, sup and hi's meanings merged together, and now people greet others with "Sup?" Yet, strangely enough, no one could invent an answer to this strange question, because, obviously someone needed to answer this greeting that was in the shape of a question. Thus, the acronym "nm" was created to satisfy answering the question. So, when asked "Sup?", the correct answer is "nm" no matter if something is happening or not. In fact, "nm" replaced "hi" as a reply greeting, therefore you should always greet people with "nm." The people of Messenger found the question of "Sup?" to be overall, annoying and pointless, yet cool to an extreme. So people continue using it to this very day, annoying the hell out of both parties of a conversation when the only appropriate answer is "nm." So, in this way, "What is happening?"'s meaning has vanished completely from the face of Messenger, and no one could ever know what was happening ever again.

In the world of Messenger, there has always been a rebellious sect of Hackers, notable for infiltrating the ruling class of Messenger and damaging the system of Instant Messaging. Many believe "337" to have evolved from the Hackers, a language of numbers and symbols. To the peoples' dismay, a young loser one day proclaimed, "All young losers, this day henceforth, shall speak in 337 because we have nothing better to do with our time!" "P343 0U7" is an example of the horrors these young losers can accomplish in their free time, slaughtering the words "Peace out" into a waste of five minutes. And so, young losers wielding the "337" led, still further, the plunging decline of English into ‘AIMness.’

Eventually, the girls of pinkness began to bore with pink -- no, they could never entirely bore of pink, to the peoples' disappointment -- and decided to flaunt and flourish their girliness in a different way. How, they wondered, could this be achieved? One day, the lead girl of pinkness was trying to type maybe, yet was so horribly uneducated that she typed instead, "mabii." All the girls of pinkness cooed in delight at this new discovery of cuteness, and began to misspell every word in the English language in order to look cute. Along with horrible misspellings, symbols galore entered the world of Messenger. They were always there, of course, but no one really explored the use of symbols until then. The tilde, ~, the asterick, *, and the carrot, ^, were the lead contenders of the symbols. Soon, writing became: " +~+~+bubble tea is sexxi`licious+~+~+," to name one of the less severe cases of misspelling, yet more severe case of symbols. The girls of pinkness lost all traces of intelligence in this last act and have left the English-speaking world forever to much of Messenger's delight. Unfortunately, the girls of pinkness continue to whisper strings of nonsense into innocent victim's ears, leaving no one at peace. No one was safe against their foul, illegible words.

Oh, but no, the girls of pinkness returned again, bringing forth another "feature," sticky caps, as they called it. The Queen of Pinkness announced to the world of Messenger, "In the world of Messenger, under the rule of AOL, we must now in order to be accepted, randomly make letters capital! inserts evil laughter here" The people of Messenger were horrified. No, no, it was not just. It was cruel and unusual, to force people to randomly capitalize letters. But indeed they did, casting away the laws of grammar to satisfy the girls' wickedness. "nO!" the people cried, "tHis iS hOrRiBle!!**" And so the girls of pinkness usurped the power of the rulers of AOL, reigning the world with fear and strength.

To this day, the people are enslaved, forced to read the ugly, unholy words of many: the girls of pinkness first and foremost, the Smiley People, the AIM Lingo Speakers, the word "Sup?” the young losers, and AOL.

This is the tale of the unspeakable evil that has plagued us all for years in the world of Messenger. It continues to plague us with pure idiocy, something we cannot stand for.

Yet, what is the motive for this? Why would people go out of their way to type something insanely long and illegible, other than for being morons? Surely not everyone could be a moron?

That, my friends, is my question to you.

Magister Mundi sum! - I am Master of the Universe.

Who says you can’t wear

stripes and

p.o.l.k.a d.o.t.s?

Dedicated to Batool; because flattery will get you everywhere!

I am currently revelling in my matchmaker prowess, another happy couple satisfied. Although some are trickier than others and I’ve drawn an absolute stalemate with two of them. And I talked to one of my friends in England today, she asked me for help with her boyfriend and our conversation basically didn’t achieve anything as all she would say to my questions was “don’t know.” Very informative, a round of applause for her stunning communication skills, ladies and gents. She’s lucky she’s half-way across the world else I probably wouldn’t be able to resist banging her over the head a couple of times with a heavy object.

I was promoted to an alien-zombie-undead-Vampire today, by those pests next door. I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or insult. But that’s it, tomorrow I’m going out. With people my age who don’t have a fascination with Ben-10.

Recently, all these Vampire stories have been getting on my nerves. Whatever happened to realism people? I mean, do you think it’s really very likely that one day a Vampire just climbed out of his coffin, looked at a woman and said, “Oh, I don’t feel like eating that today. Instead I’ll marry it.” Sorry to burst your bubble folks but that just isn’t the way the cookie crumbles.

Okay, due to the fact I’m completely technologically inept, I cannot figure out how to embed videos (or whatever the fancy term for it is.) So, I’ll just have to give you the link – it’s pretty messed up but in my bored state of mind I found it quite amusing. Tadaaaa:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tcR19y7GPM&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Efreewebs%2Ecom%2Ftherandomsanctuary%2F&feature=player_embedded#t=68

Do you know, and this is going to sound completely random – which of course it is, I absolutely dislike kidney and liver as food substances. Although, it has to be said, as my vital organs I am quite fond of them. I would like to meet myself you know; it would be an interesting conversation.

I think that's enough for today! Buh-bye now!

Vescere bracis meis - Eat my shorts.

Judging by the reviews I received from my last entry, which mainly consisted of something along the lines of “what are you on woman?” and “wait, I’ll tell you in a second, my head’s still spinning,” my blog has turned out to be a little unexpected or, as I ever-so-tactfully put it last time, pretty unorthodox for a regular teenager's blog. Some reviews were very complimentary though, albeit most of them were put forth by people who are used my astounding ability to rabbit on about the most inane of topics (hello there Neha) or are perilously close to equalling my own level of insanity (how’s it going Batool?).

Ah yes, but moving on to more important matters. Now, I’ve recently taken to comparing some of the Nazi’s propaganda ideals to the modern day ones, (and by the way, that groan of despair at my historical antics didn’t escape my notice), but I just couldn’t resist telling you guys about this little tid-bit I discovered: Joseph Goebbels, in charge of Nazi propaganda had one main ideal around which all his work for the Nazis was centred; “if you tell a lie big enough, and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such a time as the State can shield people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important from the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the state.” Interesting isn’t it, especially when applied to the modern world?


But onto a lighter subject now, (yes, I heard that sigh of relief); I seem to be wasting away indoors. Most of my friends have barricaded themselves into their houses least someone should huff and puff and give them all swine flu. Some of them have even swallowed all that malarkey about how various products (most of them inedible) are positively clustered with Swine Flu germs and, if exposed to them, it almost certainly guarantees the contraption of the disease instantly and, oh shock horror, you will die within the next twenty-four hours if that occurs... I have yet to relate that to someone with a grinning at how ludicrous it is. And then, the most amusing part is, at the end of it is the words “DO NOT PANIC” in bold. Bit of a contradiction, don’t you think?

But really, I am so bored I’ve been reduced to playing with the kids next door. Apparently, I’m an undead-alien-zombie (flattering title isn’t it?) with Optimus Prime capabilities and a mega-trod what-not... and people say I’m the one with the rampant imagination. Here are the little pests:









(terrifying, arn't they?)

(the rising generation - God help us.)




Yes, I almost got beaten up by two seven year olds, although in my defence they did have toy guns. Hmm... Degrading isn’t it? Go ahead and laugh. Quite finished? Thank you. Anyway, as I was saying before I narrated that little incident, which was obviously a mistake judging by your reaction, I am completely bored. So, I spend my time reading (no surprises there) and going online. Rather more than I usually do actually, this pretty much sums it up:

You know, I long to say, with complete sincerity “Guards! Seize them!” and I pains me that I will never be able to do so. And as I’ve already mentioned to many of my friends, raising quite a few eyebrows in the process, I think Eighteenth Century fashion is utterly fantastic – where else do you get elaborate hairstyles depicting French naval victories?

Oh, yes, the news I was gushing over earlier. Two of my stories won the SKOW awards, one of most original plot (A shot in the Dark) and the second for best Comedy (Die, everyone’s doing it). Here are the head banners for them:





and...

When I found I out I sort of gabbled this whole string of words which seemed to feature ‘oh my god’ rather a lot, I was also still mumbling ‘wow’ and ‘can’t believe it’ under my breath two hours later.

Okay, it’s late and I’m brain-dead – more so than usual. And this probably reflects that. Oh, well, frankly I’m exhausted and can’t be bothered to even run spell-check.

-Ciao.

Veni, Vidi, Dormivi - I came, I saw, I slept.

Okay, so as some of you may have noticed this blog is probably a little unorthodox, considering its title is in Latin and I’ll probably dedicate large paragraphs of my blog entries to various books I've recently read and harp on about their authors until you’re sick of the concept of writers and their work in general. And then I shall probably still forge ahead on my epic conquest to bore you completely and utterly, ignoring all frantic pleas and death threats. Consider yourself forewarned.

In case you haven’t gathered from the first paragraph I have flair from the dramatics, a love for blowing things out of proportion or making-a-gigantic-mountain-out-of-a-tiny-molehill. Ah, yes, the delights of over-exaggerating, something all of us indulge in once in a while. This blog will also make various references to History and its many trappings - prepare yourself, mentally, for a long ramble on Hitler and Stalin at the very least.

Are you still reading this? Congratulations, you have remarkable willpower – hang in there; see that little ‘X’ button on the top of the screen? The one you were so tempted to press at the first mention of a historical entry? Try to resist, although the matter may itself be boring I shall attempt (note the keyword) to add a measurable amount of humour. So whether you laugh with me or my failure of wit at least you will do just that – laugh. Ah, yes, laughter is the best medicine. I told one of my friends that, she’s so hyped up about this entire swine flu lark she’s been in a frantic state of anxiety and has been calling me up every other hour in order to check my condition and if I’ve developed any of the symptoms. God forbid I should sneeze or feel the need to cough once in a while, oh yes that certainly warrants almost having a panic attack and rushing off to call a doctor... or an emergency ambulance.


So yes, she’s been driving me crazy with her constant calls; well she stopped once I told her you can transmit certain viruses across the phone. Sheesh, talk about gullible. I went to take a look at the new Landmark yesterday and was sorely disappointed; they had a whole section dedicated solely to all those Twilight books. If I hear ‘Edward Cullen’ and ‘incredibly gorgeous’ in the same sentence once more, I’ll probably show rather murderously violent tendencies towards the speaker. I could rant on and on about that, but in the interest of appearing somewhat sane I shall now switch the topic.

I’m watching Foyle’s war now, it’s very good and I always did love an excellent mystery. They say my accent sounds weird, but they should get a load of the character Sam’s. I was forced to endure the horrors of mathematics today; my mum was on a warpath. Escaped out with some friends this morning but that refuge could only last so long...

Oh and three of my stories got nominated for the SKOW round eight awards (fictionpress, mibba and quizilla):

So, I'll let you know how that goes - the results are out tomorrow! Anyway, I think this has gone on long enough and I need to skedaddle.
In the wonderful words of the Warner Brother’s classic cartoon ending; that’s all folks!