Latine dictum, sit altum videtur - what's said in latin always seems so much more interesting.

"I'm not afraid to fall nor am I ashamed to stumble because I never wanted to be beautiful and I never pretended to be."

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." E.L. Doctorow.

I think I have finally combated my writers block! I’m working on three brand new story ideas and out of them I’ll select one. Plus I think I’ll make this one public to all you guys (on the condition that you never criticise my work and gush continuously about how amazing I am, naturally.) Let me see how it works out okay?

Topic of conversation for today: How effective is a one-eyed assassin?I mean, really? Wouldn't their depth perception be off? Bullets would never hit their targets and they'd constantly misjudge distances in a fight. Maybe they could train themselves to deal with these things, but it would take a long time and even then it would still be an imperfect art.

Hmm... I need coffee; I have too much blood in my caffeine system. Why is it that most people are under the impression that because I was born and brought up in Britain I am automatically a tea lover? Anyone who voices that assumption in my presence shall henceforth be rewarded with a sharp whack on the head.

They say the day you become a teenager is the day you realise your parents aren’t always right and don’t have all the answers. They say the day you become an adult is the day you accept it.

I’m so far off adulthood it’s almost laughable.

Things My Mother Taught Me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION." You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE." One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I like ferrets. They’re like what would happen if a mad scientist gave socks brains. Being a mad scientist was one of my career options but I don’t really have the funky crazy hairstyle to pull it off.

Would you invest in this company?

Sangeeta and I are talking on MSN:
Sangeeta: why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Hmm... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Sangeeta: uh, never mind.

(This is so me.)

Later people!