Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras! - I forgot to polish the clocks!

If you are a dreamer, come in.

If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,

a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer,

If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire,

for we have some flax-golden tales to spin.

Come in! Come in!

- Shel Silverstein

What's Crackerlakin’ dudes?

Long time, no insanely boring update – I know, I know. I’ve just been busy... oh all right, replace busy with lazy.

I haven’t implemented my “taking a break from matchmaking” thing, you just seem to be dishing out problems faster than Jose can guzzle down her apple juice (which is bloody fast), still some of the issues people have been coming up with have been whoppers and I’ve had to deal with two break-ups in the last few days. Note: Having the love of your life break up with you and say, “we can still be friends” is like your dog dying and your mom saying, “You can still keep it.”

A.K.A do not use that lame break-up line, originality would be appreciated and not sitting there like and android staring staunchly ahead would help too. Oh and carry a packet of tissues with you. Hah, I should write a book on this: Break up with your significant partner now! Sunita’s guide to breaking-up includes ‘the seven steps to being single’ and ‘knowing when to make a run for it.’

Did you notice the ‘bloody’ is slipped in their earlier, just to highlight my Englishness? (Wow, that’s actually a word...), well I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that not everyone from England sticks the word ‘love’ at the end of each and every sentence, differing from what many of my new acquaintances believe.

Azeem brought up a very good point in one of our MSN conversations – why is it that Aliens and Monsters always seem to choose America to invade? I mean, according to the UN there are 196 countries in the world and out of them America always seems to save the day.

Meet me in outer space. So we can Star Trek the galaxies...

Is there such thing as Green Eggs and Ham? Forget Disney, its Dr. Seuss who’s given me unrealistic expectations but he’s awesome so I forgive him. I would be such a prejudice judge I swear – ‘nice haircut, you’re granted bail’ or ‘your nose is too flat, nine years in Prison buddy.’ Ah, the justice system. On whim, I’ve decided that I’d quite like to jump out of my seat in the middle of a mind-numbingly boring lecture, slam my fist on my desk, point dramatically at the teacher and declare, ‘no you’re out of order!’ before turning and legging it out of there in all due haste. I saw someone do that in a movie once I think; only he was in a courtroom and he didn’t run away like I would afterwards. It was epic.

You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed.

.I have come to the conclusion that 25% of the people in interact with suffer from autovoxiphillia.